What does it mean to be nostalgic? These authors have the hot takes.

Nostalgia: The 90s

 was one of the most-watched series of all time. In fact, it was so popular in my shared student house that the gentle hum of Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Joey’s voices became almost like white noise. Cozy and constant, it was a comforting blanket that we all relied upon.

From heartbreak to hangovers to long hours of studying and general boredom, we would lay on the bed together laughing at Chandler’s quippy one-liners, Monica’s neurosis and Ross’s general goofiness. We all had a favorite episode that we’d play on repeat. Mine was that one where Ross gets stuck in his leather trousers, but for my friends, it was the classic “The One Without The Ski Trip” or “The One With the Cop.”

As this was long before the time of streaming platforms such as Netflix and Amazon Prime, our choice of TV shows was limited, so we watched things differently. One of us would invest in the box set, and we’d watch it until the DVD became too scratched to work properly. I often wonder now if we would have devoured it so intensely if other shows were around to take our attention or whether it would have still stood up as such a classic? I imagine it would be the latter.

The ‘Friends’ Reunion Made Me Feel Weird

Like millions of others last month, I tuned in eagerly to the long-awaited 

 reunion. While I hadn’t really sat down to watch an episode in quite a long time, I still cared about what the cast was doing. I also relished an opportunity to take a trip back in time to an era that was so much more carefree than my present situation—married with a business, a child and another on the way.

Just a few clips in and the sight of the old set with the now 20-year-aged cast made me feel a bit, well, weird. It was like opening an old photo album of ex-boyfriends and memories that, while happy and hedonistic, were hard to look at for too long. I wanted to push it back under the bed, where it wouldn’t be pulled out again until another 20 years or so.

Why? For me, so many of the episodes are evocative of a certain time or event, loaded with far more emotion and nostalgia than they probably should. I loved my university years and, while I’m not one to fear or dislike aging, it’s a period of time that I miss a lot. I think that’s why it feels a little bit painful. It underscores the fact that it’s a part of my life that will never be again and, in all honesty, it makes me a bit sad.

It’s Important to Leave Some Things Where They Belong

But not only that, the reunion made me realize how much has changed not just in my own life but in the world in general. The cast itself seemed heavier in spirit than their younger and fictional characters that were so etched into my consciousness. It was like lifting the curtain on a behind-the-scenes view that I didn’t really want to see. I felt for Matthew Perry (aka Chandler Bing), who seemed lost and quiet and so far from his on-screen persona, not to mention depressed that the women had felt the need to hang on to their youth and beauty with quite obvious aesthetic tweaks.

The show’s creators, Marta Kauffman and David Crane, were asked if they’d ever consider creating more episodes. Their answer was a straight-up “no.” I couldn’t help but feel relieved and agreed wholeheartedly with their sentiments that no attempt should be made to continue the characters’ stories and pick up where they left off. They had tied things up so nicely, they said. Why would they want to mess with that?

There are some things—like my university days and our friends in Central Perk—that should be left in the place we remember them: happy, undisturbed and forever young.

The TV series was the backdrop to one of the happiest periods of my life. So why can't I stand to watch it anymore?

I Grew Up With ‘Friends’—It Needs to Stay in the Past

Stone Cold Steve Austin. Sega Genesis. AOL Instant Messenger.

American culture reached its peak in the 1990s, and millions of people are only waking up to that fact now. The nostalgia bomb that hits millennials when they come upon 

 T-shirts or throwback snacks, like Dunkaroos, speaks to a vibe that's long past in the United States: a time of fun, a time of carefree cool, a time when everything in the world wasn't so serious.

In the ’90s, it felt like everyone got along. Buddy cop movies starring a Black guy and a white guy were so common it became a trope: 

 (a buddy cop film at heart, with some aliens in the mix). The vibe of the comedy 

 was mainstream then, when people from every background hanging out was cool and all the self-segregating identity groups were fringe.

Another part of why so many are wistful for the ’90s vibe is because men were men and women were celebrated for their beauty. Masculinity was popular, with action stars, such as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone, ruling the box office by virtue of strong physiques and capable, dominating personas. 

 was beloved because of beautiful women like Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra. Those same women would be reviled today for somehow portraying women in a negative light by displaying their beauty.

Unlike Today, Popular Things in the ’90s Were Actually Good

The whole American culture was marinating in itself, too. Movies and music were building on past successes, while today's culture attempts to clone yesterday's hits and delivers results that look like a freak lab experiment. Art forms today have become watered down, imitations of the men and women who rocked the ’90s, from rap and comedy to sports, like basketball, and even "sports entertainment," like pro wrestling.

As a kid, I used to watch pro wrestling with my father, mesmerized by the out-of-control characters, such as The Ultimate Warrior and “Macho Man” Randy Savage. I would go bananas watching this giant-sized drama of heroes and villains, try to do wrestling moves on my dad and end up getting body slammed in return. It was amazing.

After my father passed away, I rediscovered the wrestling stars of the ’90s we used to watch together and found that wrestlers like Razor Ramon, aka Scott Hall, had great depth to themselves and what they conveyed in the ring. Wrestlers like Hall talk now about how wrestling today is not what it was in the ’90s. I'd venture to say that this criticism seems to hold true throughout all modern culture.

Artists are not allowed to be free. The corporations now are in total control.

But in the ’90s, the human spirit was alive and free. And that's the vibe that resonates with me.

 by playing ringtones with simple beeps and boops. Going to the local movie theater with my friends when movies were an event, not a Netflix upload. Staying up all night to play Magic: The Gathering with intensity because everyone's focus and attention was right in front of them, not divided and distracted a thousand ways by cellphone apps and social media notifications.

The ’90s Were the Best Decade, Thanks to Its Amazing Pop Culture

I remember driving to the beach on "senior skip day" with a gorgeous English Black girl named Toni, and when we arrived, our crew of friends was fully present. There was no digital elsewhere clouding anyone's minds. We played frisbee in the surf, we drank and we had love and affection for each other and the moment.

This spirit infected everything. When I was assigned to cover the Warped Tour and be onstage with the bands, the excitement of everyone to be there at that moment was palpable. Everything was exciting, everything mattered.

Michael Jordan, Smashing Pumpkins, Nintendo 64, 

Pick an area of pop culture, and the ’90s consciousness still reigns supreme.

It was a better time because there was nowhere else we wanted to be, and everyone was free to be themselves.

That's the magic we yearn for and, God willing, will one day have again.

A child of the 1990s explains why it was a time we should all miss dearly.

The Best Decade Ever: A Nostalgic Love Letter to the '90s

So, millennials think the 1990s were a great time? I was an undergraduate at university in the '90s. I don't agree. In fact, they weren't a halcyon time at all. The '90s were crap.

Let’s start with the obvious. Unlike today, there wasn’t any messaging about inclusivity and diversity among body shapes. Vegetarians were often ridiculed, and there were very few products on the market for them. You weren’t meant to think or have a social conscience or opinion. The worst bit was the “Lad Mags,” so prevalent at the time, boasting demeaning pictures of breasts everywhere, all the while giving men a distorted view of how women really were. They were plastered over the social area of my student dorms. I didn’t find them clever or empowering to women, some of whom said they were, laughably calling the shots. I remember wanting to take them down in protest (it was a co-ed house), but I had no support from any of the other residents, who either liked them or were too apathetic to protest.

They influenced a pressure to look like a supermodel, to be willowy slim or have humongous Pamela Anderson breasts—nothing in between. It was more that you had to “like it” or “lump it,” and there was no voice for opposing views. I didn't relate to the “ladettes” that we were being fed by the media—or The Spice Girls spouting “Girl Power.” They were utterly moronic and seemed very shallow.

Mental Health Was a Taboo Topic in the '90s

I used to buy most of my clothes from thrift shops, which were a wonderful thing in the '90s because they hadn't yet been homogenized and sanitized into expensive, money-making machines. There was a sense of creating your own DIY-style in a very cheap and effective way. While some of the fashions may look cool and edgy through the eyes of today’s younger millennials, most of it was recycled from other periods—in particular the '60s. I grew up in a small town, so we weren’t at the cutting edge of all things cool. We did, however, catch the flavor of the Madchester scene, when artists started merging alternative rock with acid house music. It was exhilarating and exciting—it was more homemade by the people, for the people. But let’s face it, the best of that was over by 1990.

Various middle-class, white-privileged types galumphed around, hee-hawing, drinking pints of beer and being really irritating. “We are being like men,” they claimed. “We can drink ourselves into a stupor and fall over.” How clever! In reality, there was no questioning or self-reflection like now. No discourse. Mental health was not a topic of conversation—it was still a very taboo subject.

I had many issues, which I kept firmly to myself, because you just didn't admit to any weaknesses then. This had an alienating effect. Without the dear internet, you were destined to never meet like-minded people with alternate, outside-the-mainstream perspectives. You could either go out and get mindlessly drunk with your peers or live a very lonely existence.

I Couldn’t Connect With Bland '90s Pop Culture

, which people seem to hold so dearly in their bland little hearts. I couldn't stand it. It was so vapid and dreary. All smiling white teeth and mundane fashion senses. The characters were vacuous and not at all interesting—they spent the majority of their lives in a coffee shop. They were so middle-of-the-road it was depressing. 

 weren’t much better. All my peers seemed to adore these shows and I worried about being the odd one out. I had failed to see the enjoyment and understand the hype.

The cool films we were supposed to like were mainly in the sphere of Quentin Tarantino’s 

. I couldn't relate to it. My partner at the time argued with me after one showing. I felt so wound up by all the blood and gore. It was meaningless to me. I wanted depth. I wanted narratives that meant more than mindless violence. There was pressure to conform, to be cool, to say you liked something but you didn't know why.

There was very little reality television back then, so we didn’t feel like the celebs were as real as perhaps millennials do now. Most of the 1990s, I spent dreaming about the 1960s, imagining what a wonderful time it was—new, fresh and exciting—with a booming economy and opportunities galore. But everything seemed like it had been “done before.” We were Generation X, supposedly apathetic, stoned, gazing at our shoes like Kurt Cobain, who incidentally was very passionate about his work. People thought he just rolled out of bed, took some drugs and penned a classic song. This was not the case.

There were no more heroes. Were we supposed to shuffle around in a catatonic, heroin trance feeling hopeless? We were labeled slackers, boundaryless and resorting to extreme measures to shock or rebel. Growing up in the U.K., I discovered much more about Seattle grunge culture watching documentaries such as 

, which I probably couldn't afford to watch at the time. Americans seemed to be having a more authentically cool time in the '90s (apart from 

). I desperately wondered where I fit in.

The Internet Saved Culture's Individuality

In 2020, there are people actively fighting racism all over the world—with movements that have gained real interest and effort from young people. I didn’t actively go out and protest, as I would have done in my 20s. In this respect, I felt like a bystander watching it all unfurl on social media. I have become apathetic myself.

Today, I would have found like-minded lost types on social media. That was the missing link we didn’t have then. I adore social media for the fact you can find people who think like you, who create things and who care about social issues. For example, I enjoy the crafting community, and crochet has had a revival here in the U.K. In effect, there’s lots of users on Instagram and YouTube who have become great for inspiration and for providing “How To” guides.

I like this DIY culture and the ability for people to explore their real selves. I look at British actress Emma Corrin, starring most recently as Princess Diana in Netflix’s 

. I admire her edgy cool and the fact that she has posed for British GQ with unshaven armpits, a decision that would have been ridiculed in the '90s.

After all, there’s nothing clever about the over-privileged who were supposedly the subversives of the moment. Thankfully, the internet saved culture, which would otherwise continue hurtling down a recycled, boring, dirge-like route and taking any innovation with it.

Despite millennial nostalgia, a British Gen-Xer explains how the '90s homogenized culture.